To You,

A question that got me thinking sa bad i almost cried. It's not because it was offensive but because it was a query that cannot be answered by a simple affirmation or negation. It was more than that. It needed supporting details and at the same time an honest heart to answer it.

Everyday, I convince myself that I am okay because I need to be. I am fine because I have to be, I am happy because I deserve to be. Crying won't make anything better. It was a principle I held on to almost all of my life. Because I believe that the most painful tear doesn't come from the eye, it falls endlessly from the heart.

I don't know how, why,where and when to start.

I don't know HOW to start letting it out. Thoughts just keep on flowing. It's starting to eat my whole being. how do i begin with my ending?

I trusted you. I trusted you too much that it made me believe that you won't break it. It's diffucult waking up at 3 in the morning, checking my phone and the picture of us is what i see. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME LIKE THIS.

*Note to self: NEVER GIVE YOUR TRUST TO ANYONE. It kills.

I don't know WHY did you have to do this? I entrusted my heart to you. Gave you everything. You made me believe that it will be different this time. Boys are like serial killers. Making you believe everything's fine at first, and then kills you in the end.

*Note to self: DO NOT BELIEVE IN "THIS TIME, IT WILL BE DIFFERENT". It's a fraud.

I don't know WHERE to start, back to basics. Let go. Move on. Get better. Until somebody walk sinto your life and it changes everything. Only to find out he's just one of those dumbass boys who will hurt you again.

*Note to self: BE CAREFUL. It helps.

I don't know WHEN will i start forgetting. I know this isn't like the first time. I've been through this a lot of times already. At ano? DI. PA. DIN. AKO. NATUTO. Maybe i hated him for a long time that i didn't realize it because i liked him too much that i got blinded by his sheepish yet perfect smile that went along with his big, dancing eyes, telling me "You're the one i longed for."

I WANTED THIS. I FELL FOR THIS. THIS MADE ME HAPPY ONCE UPON A TIME. BUT "THIS" ENDED RIGHT BEFORE OUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

*Note to self: REALITY CHECK! Be realistic!

Stupid. Stupid. STUPID!

To the person, who asked how's my heart, i hope you got your answer. It's beating. But struggling.